In this world that we live in, there are many things that we have not experienced that some of the people we know had when they were still young. Some of these experiences are losing someone they value the most, and they can't get over the grief they have inside their hearts. They are the ones who bring so much hurt when their loved ones pass away. Suppose you have a friend dealing with this kind of emotion. You can give them a piece of jewellery made from ashes if they have their loved ones' remains in their home for a long time.
It may not give them total relief from what happened because it is a long process to deal with. Still, it will remind them that even though they already have their loved ones' remains around the house and are still missing them, they can be more intimate in remembering through the jewellery you gave. If you are to do this, you need to have permission from the elder of the family. You need to have approval before taking some of the ashes of their loved ones from the urn.
You are not the one who will take it. It should be them because it is their loved ones, and they are the owner of the remains. It is also their right to refuse if they are unwilling to give you some portion of the ashes. But you can try explaining to them the reason why you want some of those. In that way, you can change their mind. Helping a friend is a good thing, but you must know that they tend to have hard limits. You need to know this before you can send them something or offer them anything.
You may observe your friend's attitude whenever you mention something that can trigger their emotions or connect with family. Sometimes, these words are what they are avoiding. They may control emotions at some point, but it will run in their heads throughout the day until they get home. And that is the time they will pour out their emotions- crying, anger or being silent. That is why you need to be careful with what words you are saying to them.
Even though you know them enough to tell that they don't have one of that unresolved grief, you will never know. We don't want others to know these things hidden underneath our skins because it is the most painful experience we ever had. But if you are determined to understand them, don't go directly on asking them about what happened. Ask them things like;
It is the usual question we always hear from our friends or family members that we have not seen for a while. And if your friend lives from a different state and you seldom talk to them about things, you can ask this question. When you get time to see each other, things are pretty different than you thought they would be. It is not that you are expecting things will be the same. But you will notice changes if they are still holding griefs in their hearts. It is a simple one, but it can change the world for someone, especially when they have unresolved grief in their hearts. This question may lead to them opening up with you.
You can ask a friend/s that you have not seen for a few days, but you can visit them because you live in the same street. It is a kind of question that will make your friend think that you have missed them a lot for some time and want to catch up with them. And it is an excellent way to open up a conversation with a friend that you have unresolved issues with because it will help them feel that they are not alone to win this battle.
It may sound like you are asking as if you know that they are going through something. And may look suspicious to your friend, but by asking this question, you make them feel valued and think about their welfare. You are to ask this question after you ask them if they are doing fine or any question about how they are doing lately. If you feel that they are struggling with their issues, you can offer them help. But you ask them this whenever one-on-one because they might feel shy or embarrassed to open up their situation. Once you already know about their unresolved issues, you can talk to them about how you and your other friends can help them.
Make them feel that they are special by giving your time to ask these questions. With the generations today, you will hear few people who would ask their friends about how they are doing and what they can help them with. Ask your friend about these things and see the result for yourself.