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STARING AT THE ASHES CASKET OF A LOVED ONE WHILE PROCESSING PAIN

When you lose a loved one over the uncertainty of things, you feel despair and loss of control over the things that surround you. While you are looking into their ashes casket, you can think right or do things right. Your mind will linger on how a loved one passed away. 


You will find things that will help solve the problem. Sometimes you will go insane looking for the answers for what happened. But you will end up staring at the blank space, longing for the loved one to show up. 


This blank space occupies your mind with thoughts of how things have come this far and what you could have done before this situation happened. These thoughts will run in your mind endlessly until you find peace.


Here are some ways you can divert your attention from thinking a lot of things about the passing of your loved one;


  • You can watch a funny movie or a series

  • It may not sound helpful for you, but watching movies helps you divert your attention towards what is happening. While you are watching a movie or a series, the last scene you have watched will remain in your mind until the following day. It may stay in your mind for a short period, but it will give you a lot of inspiration to do life and change your outlook in life. 


  • You can travel alone.

  • When people think of traveling, they think of going out of the country. But you can travel on your own around the country. You can visit places you have never been to. There are a lot of things that you can get in traveling alone;


    • Meet new friends
    • Re-discover yourself
    • checking bucket list
    • Unwinding
    • healing

  • Writing

  • You don't need to be an excellent writer to write in a journal of your own. All you need is your pen, notebook, scenery and your emotions. Creating a journal for yourself will keep you sane from grieving and thinking. You can write how your day goes, things you want to see, or anything that comes to your mind when you look in your surroundings. Aside from a notebook, you can write on a computer. 


    If you already hone yourself in writing, you can start writing your blog from the sheets of your notebook. That will inspire others to write how life has been treating them. You can also make a group that caters to grieving people, and they can share their story, and you will get inspiration from them.


  • Cooking

  • You can cook dishes that are new to you. You can try and practice making them and let your other family members taste them for you. And when you already master the art of cooking, you can bake so that you will not be vacant and get sad again about what happened with your loved one.

    • Pastries
    • Traditional cuisines
    • Asian cuisines
    • Mediterranean cuisines

    These are a few cuisines that you can learn in cooking that will keep your mind busy and not think of things that will make you upset. 


  • You can go Shopping.

  • If you have plenty of money that you can spend on shopping, do it. There is no need to spend much, but spending wisely on the things you need makes you happy. Some people find shopping as their stress reliever; if you feel this, you can find peace in this process, then you go shopping for yourself or everyone in your household. But you need to make sure that the items you bought are of use and not just for buying purposes only.


  • Spend more time with your family and friends

  • Though it may sound cliche and redundant, the few people who can make you happy and at peace are the people who know you better. They are the ones who can make you laugh, and what are the things that trigger your emotions.


    You may call a friend and stay at their place for a while. Ensure that you will not cause any destruction to them because they might feel uncomfortable and their family member. But they will accept you because they understand your situation and know that you would do the same if they are in your shoe. 


  • You can sing 

  • Singing is one way of releasing someone's emotion. You can sing your heart out at your home while doing your chores or sing with your friends to feel so alive. Most of the time, people who sing their hearts out in the middle of the song. That is okay. You need to know the right avenue to release your feelings and change the scenario that registered in your mind when your loved one passed away. You may be out of tune or intune butf singing diverts your attention towards what is happening, then you sing. 


    We have our way to survive the battle of grief, but it is hard when we don't know how to start and where it will end. It will become even more complicated if we think so much of what happened and thought of things we could have done to save the situation. All you need to know is that you need to survive this battle and move forward with life.