There is no greater joy to see a newborn in the family or to anyone you know. They are the most precious and delicate gift any woman would ever want and a father will ever need. Babies are the light that makes the world shine upon their parents—the centre of their attention and entire being. No one will ever lay a hand on them unless. But when life takes them away in a blink of an eye. The world crushes like how the body turns into ashes placed in a urns babies ashes.
The pain is incomparable and unfathomable. No one can tell how deep the wound it causes losing a baby for parents. Words are not enough to describe the pain, and actions can't justify how terrible the feeling is never to see the precious one again. For the mother, she lost the life she carried for nine (9) months in her womb and can no longer see it come to life. And for the father, he misses the chance to be his child's best buddy.
Going home is a lot more painful than staying in the hospital. The things that have been prepared and bought for the baby will be given or thrown away. Some will keep it hoping that they will be provided with another angel in their family, or they want to keep it as a reminder of the life they were supposed to be with when they came home. They will both come home in an empty room and with all the baby things.
They miss the chance to experience life with the baby. Those are the things they have in mind as they walk inside the supposed baby room for their child. Coming home from the hospital was supposed to be the happiest moment of their life yet inturned out to be the saddest and the most dreadful and painful coming home they ever done. Everything will shatter.
It is challenging for parents to lose a child. They have been longing for it since the start of their marriage. Some of them planned carefully as to when and the best time to get pregnant but ended up losing the baby. And it is more painful for the mothers who cared for the baby in her womb for months and gave so much of her time, emotions, and strength, ensuring that the baby will be healthy and alive when she gave birth to them. She feels like she was stabbed many times in the heart for losing the baby.
She feels guilty. Blaming herself for what happened and recalling all the memories she can ever think of when she was still pregnant, checking if there is anything that she has done wrong. It is the most devastating part of being a woman. She can't blame anyone because she carried the baby for nine (9) months in her tummy. But she lost it.
She will think of the things that she could have done for the baby to be born alive. She will blame herself for what happened and will cry all night. She will become even more vulnerable as time passes by. Things in her head are all the what if she can believe that she could have saved the baby if she had done those things.
When some of her friends invite her to hang out and have dinner parties, she refuses them. She thinks that she does not deserve to do all those things because she lost the baby. She will make herself isolated in her house and refuse all the invites her friends give her. All she wants is to stay at home and succumb to pain or remember her life when she was still pregnant.
She might be distant from her friends, but her constant reminder that she needs to live life is her husband that is always there for her. They go through the same pain. It may not be at the same level, but they are both suffering from their child's loss. And they will get over things together.
It is said to her in that state. The life she used to have when she first found that she was pregnant is no longer visible on her face. People will only see sadness and pain in her eyes. Despair is what people see in the eyes and the father's gestures, even if he pretends to be strong in front of his family and wife. He is vulnerable.
When he found out that he would be a father, it was bliss and an unexplainable feeling of joy and excitement building up inside him. He feels inspired to work and go home early to see his wife and spend more time with her. But when he found out that his child passed away, his world shattered like how sands crushed in the palm when squeezed.
Even though he pretends to be strong in front of everyone, he is sad. When no one is watching, he becomes weak and needs someone to lean on. He can't depend on his wife because she is struggling to accept things too. He has no one but himself and his faith.
Even if he still has his wife that he needs to feed, the energy he puts into his craft or work inspired by his baby is no longer the same. It decreases to nothing to keep. He lost everything.
Both of them need their family members to remind them that they are loved and not alone in this battle. If you are a family of a couple who experiences this kind of pain, comfort them with your love and make time to talk to both of them. Allow them to share with you all the struggles they have. They would surely appreciate your time and effort. It will encourage them to get through all trials together and smile again.