RING FOR ASHES TO REMEMBER DAD

We would never forget the fondest memory we have of our fathers. The day we first saw their faces and the last moment we saw it. They are precious. There are no dull moments with our fathers. We would like to remember those moments with a token that will live with us forever, like rings for ashes. 

We try to change a little bit of what we usually do every day just for fun and to avoid boredom. Change is the only constant in the world. They say it, but when the permanent change of not seeing your father is a different thing. The person who was with you yesterday is no longer the person you see today after losing your daddy. 

Everything is changing. And there is no way things will go back to what they used to be after because you miss half of who you are in your everyday life. There is no step-by-step process that can tell you when to move on when you feel the hurt growing inside each time you feel empty. There is no right path to where you can pick up yourself from the darkness you are in.

At some point, you don't know when and where you would put all your emotions because you are caught up with new obligations. You would want to have your peace from getting over your grief. You can either be;

• Delayers. These are the people who delay their grief because they want to focus more on some other things. They want to ensure that when they want to cry out there are people who would comfort them. These types of people are all out when they finally burst all their hearts out. 
• Displayers. These people are displaying their emotions in the situation right away. They are not good at hiding or diverting their emotions on other things because they might burst out and may get out of control.

We all grieve differently depending on how we take our father's passing. We mourn for what we lose and what we used to be before all these happened. And you will see things differently. You can either appreciate them or despise them because of the feeling it causes you.  

The places you go that give beautiful and fun memories for you and your family will become an empty place for some time. You would want yourself to heal and time to accept everything before you can say that you finally moved on. Our fathers are irreplaceable. No one can be them or be like them. They are one for a kind. 

Though you miss the chance of dancing with him on your wedding day or on your eighteenth birthday. But you can have the ring for ashes as a gift for yourself where you can always feel his love for you for the rest of your life. If you are a son, you miss his advice about courting girls in the future or how to drive a car. 

You may miss them all, but get yourself a nice ring for ashes as a token for your twenty-first birthday so you would be reminded that he is with you when you celebrate this milestone. Moreover, the ring can be the family heirloom that you can give to your future son and daughters. It is also your greatest testimony of how your daddy was when he was still alive. The only thing is that you are not ashamed of where and can brag to anyone you know because it is your father's remains that you keep with you.

In honor of them this father's day, visit them in their thumb or columbarium. You may spend a little quiet time there and tell him how you feel about losing them. You may also organize a small family gathering to celebrate his life when he was still alive and the good deeds he has done for others. 

It is where you can say all the words left unsaid when he passed away. The things that you kept until today that you wanted to unleash. Don't hold yourself in telling him how you feel today because he may not be there to hug you and tell you it's alright. But you know in your heart that he understands you and he knows how it feels like to be in your shoes. 

It is also the best time to heal from the wounds of the past and let go of what needs to be thrown out in the dung of the past. Open the memory box where you and your dad's photos are hidden and reminisce how beautiful life was with him. Remember how he wants you to see things even if he is no longer around and check if that is what you see currently. 

It is also the time to check yourself if you totally heal from the pain his passing caused you. Life will give us a journey that we would not want to take because we are afraid, but it will lead us to where the challenge is to mold us and prepare us to the next level of survival it will give us. We just need to hold on and be steadfast.