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There are no words you can say to ease the pain of a husband who loses his wife. He lost the other half of his life. She is the rib bone that is from him. Now, her remains become ashes, and he wanted to have a reminder of her through cremation jewellery for men. 

He is like a king that lost his queen in a battle called life. But he can't win over it because he has no control over it. What he did is to hold on to the beautiful memories they have created and take care of the princess and princes of their lives. 

He had to sacrifice a lot of things to meet the needs of his children. He never sees it as a burden but as a challenge to become a better father to them. He feels tired every day. But he will never show it because he wants to be seen as strong by his children. If he looks weary and tired, his children would worry about him instead. 

He longs for her day and night. She is irreplaceable in his heart. For him, she was the light in his dark path. But that light already hides her light forever. He wants to cry, but he can't because he feels like crying would make him weak.

If you see him weak, tell him that it is okay. We all go through the trials of life, and we can overcome them. Allow him to understand that he can cry if he can no longer take the pain. Tell him that you understand that he misses his queen and he needs to be alone sometime. 

You may remind him that she never let go of the promise they had when they got married because there is a piece of her left in him- cremation jewellery. Sometimes he forgets that there are treasures hidden while he was busy making ends meet. Remind him that he is not alone in his battle. He has you, his children, and your other family members that care for him. 

Help him to slowly release his agony from the loss of his wife, your mother, by making him feel loved and appreciated. 

  • Take him to his favorite place. We are sometimes afraid of taking our loved ones to the place where happy moments are taken, especially when it has a sentimental value to them. But if you take your father to his favorite place, he would be happy to go with you. 
  • Talk to him about his pain. Children often misunderstood their fathers because they changed. But we also need to understand that they are going to the phase of their life where he needs to tend everything. Things that he was not used to will become his concern. Take time to talk to him. If he is not responding well to your conversation, that is fine. Be consistent in engaging him in small talk because eventually, he will open up to you and your siblings (if you have).
  • Plan a family trip.  It is much easier for someone who is grieving to travel because they can unwind and refresh their thoughts. It is also a good time to let them heal.
  • Ask him questions about his health.  They would sometimes lie to you about what they feel because they don't want someone to worry them. He might be experiencing one of these while grieving;
  1. Fatigue
  2. Loneliness
  3. Depression
  4. Loss of appetite
  5. Short term memory loss

We often don't see these things because we are also busy coping up with our grief. But if you help each other in overcoming the grief of losing your loved one, it will be easier. 

He may not say it, but you can feel it in his actions. His heart still mourns even if he is smiling. He can hide the pain with a smile, but he can never hide it from you who knows him better than anyone else. Father needs affirmation that he is loved and he is not alone. 

Even though he is surrounded by love from everyone who knows him, there is no greater love than seeing the love of his life alive. However, you can no longer do that because she is already gone. Allow the cremation jewellery work to divert his attention from his grieving. Since it has the ashes of his wife, you can tell him that she is still inside his heart and will never leave. 

Assure him that he can still feel the love that they shared through this piece. We assure him and make sure that he is still within the realm of reality to keep him grounded with his thoughts. What he needs is comfort and empathy from the people who love him. 

It is hard to be a father and a mother for your children, but as a father, he loves to take on these challenges because he loves you so much. He is willing to sacrifice everything for you. Thank them for being brave, survivor, responsible and loving. That is all they want to hear.