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There are different types of people in the world. We can't tell where they belong unless we meet them and get to know them well. Some people are called introverts. They are the people who are reserved with their emotions and are less likely to interact with other people. But they are more likely to have a ring for ashes for loved ones to divert their grief attention in it. Since they don't like talking too much about their pain and being comforted by many people, they prefer to have this kind of metaphor to release their pain.
When someone in the family passes away, an introverted person will hide in their shell to find comfort. They would not allow anyone in their circle to see them vulnerable as they look. But they will find a way to feel the comfort they need without asking for any help from other people. And they are more likely prone to suicidal thoughts.
On the other hand, we have extroverts. These are the types of people who like to socialize with other people, talk and make love of fun outside their comfort zone. They are more likely to quickly adapt to a new situation—the kind of people who can express their thoughts and feelings towards other people.
When someone in the family of an extroverted person passes away, they will tell other people directly how they feel and ask what they can do about it. They will not hide what they think about, especially the people they know can help them. Most extroverted people are the ones who are proactive in telling what they need and feel right at the moment.
In between introverts and extroverts are the ambiverts. These are the kind of people who are a little bit friendly, talkative and expressive. But they are not introverts. They can be explicit about their emotions towards the people in their circle that they already know for a long time. They are a bit reserved for the people they just met, even though some of the ambiverts are the type of people who approach people they want to get to know.
These characteristics differ in how they approach life and the journey that goes along with it, but they have the same grounds for feeling the pain of losing someone they loved. They have different ways of coping with the passing of their loved ones, but they all need comfort and support about what they feel. You can never tell any extroverts that they can manage their pain because they are outgoing. You can trust introverted people that they can do okay because they seem calm about the situation.
They all need the people around them to understand how they feel and help them get out from the pain and start moving on. Since people have different characteristics, you can try different approaches for those you want to help with. Some of the things that might work for an ambivert may not work for extroverts and introverts. It would help if you saw where the person is among these three (3), and you can check the things you can do to help them.
When grieving, you should not crowd them with questions or talking even though it applies to anyone. But it is more likely applicable for introverts and some of the ambiverts. Give them space to think about what happened and let them accept the situation before you can try to talk to them. You need to understand that some of these people are not sociable and don't know how to express themselves to others.
If you want to comfort someone grieving in general, you need to understand and emphasize the person's feelings. It would help if you were sensitive to the words you say towards them and how you approach them. They are in a state of their life where they listen to what they feel and what their mind is telling them. If they think that you are not sensitive enough to understand what's going about them, they will no longer talk or let you sit beside them.
Encouraging someone in a state of grievance is hard. It would help if you had a lot of courage and luck to speak about it. But when you see that it is already the right time to encourage them about moving about life and letting go of the things that hinders them from moving forward, you need to say it. Find courage and open your mouth to say the words they need to hear to realize that it is time to move forward in life.
We all have different characteristics and approaches to things or situations. But it does not deny that when we lose the people we love, we feel the pain and loneliness. And pain demands to be felt for a person to heal. There is nothing wrong with feeling the pain, but you need to use it as your fuel to make your life even better than it used to be.
